‘Friend’

I had this friend who ‘attacked’ me.
He touched my bottom line,
Then dug deeper.
Desperate,
I lashed out,
Breaking my facade of calm.
It was sad,
I felt within so bad.
Is he glad?
For pushing me over the edge,
And driving-in this wedge?
I’m not pleased
To walk over his ‘feelings’ while saying ‘please’.
I know this blade I hold,
Isn’t meant for severing the bonds we have.

Now he’s back,
Flashing the wounds on his back
Which I left – to my shame – in my outrage.
Now we’re stuck, in a place without solace;
Looking back, at the days we shared paces;
Shoulder to shoulder, facing challenges;
Back to back, fighting defeats;
Heart to heart, bearing the weights.

How did we get here?
Oh, yeah…he knew my bottom line,
But he shrugged and crossed over,
Going further…
And I said, “Please, don’t be a murderer…”
And he said, “‘Can it’, don’t be a coward…”

Now he’s back,
Almost like it never happened,
Except for that shadow beyond the eyes,
Evidence of trust lost and walls.
We shake hands like businessmen,
No back patting or shoulder bumping.
We talk like foreign diplomats,
Trading sincerity for political correctness.
…Whispers on tip-toes.

Whose fault is it, I wonder…
My bottom line or his stubbornness;
My bruised ego or his blatant disregard?
Was it worth it, I wonder…
Losing ‘that’ for ‘this’ because of ‘these’…?
Is it possible, I ponder…
To leave the hurt and stains of yesterday where they belong,
And forge new bonds today for tomorrow?

Though he knew my bottom line but ignored it,
I choose to recognize the awkwardness and ignore it.
Though we both know whose fault it all was,
I choose to apologize for the harm I caused.
Forgiveness is a gift I’ve been given,
And I must learn to share.

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