At a point in my walk it dawned on me that I had been trying to play chess with God. I had been trying to get a ‘feel’ of how He works, when He moves, and how He moves, and what He moves for; So I could make my decisions with His moves in mind – no, not against Him – that would be worse than ridiculous; It’s more like we’re on the same team with no well-defined captain, and whoever moves first plays. Clearly, I haven’t exactly understood the concept of surrender or yielding. It’s a very frustrating game to play; with my mind telling me I ought to be winning and my conscience asking me what I think I’m doing. My eyes see clearly that things are not going the way I expect, but my hand keeps moving anyways, making the next best move even as I ask God why He isn’t playing.

Well, that was me in the past, now I’ve matured – I think. So I’m learning to wait till He moves, then I follow His lead. But waiting can be so frustrating, especially when you have to wait on pins and needles, tipped with venom. But this just makes it clear that I have quite a ways to go, to get to the point where I wait in peace and rest, basking in perfect assurance, even in flames heated seven times over.