Today marks the third anniversary of Makafui’s Journal. For this special anniversary, I would like to take some time and acknowledge and appreciate my wonderful readers and followers. But please, I’m human, so if I miss your name, do give me a prompt and I’ll rectify my terrible mistake (my apologies in advance, I’m pretty sure I’ll be missing out quite a number of people).
First and foremost, special thanks to God, who reads each post even before I write it. ‘Hey Lord, you know it’s always been you first. Thank you for the grace, inspiration, ability and opportunity to have this space…I hope You like what I’ve done with the place.’
Find me on my knees,
Kneeling on my doubts and distresses;
Hands clasped, holding tight my faith;
Eyes closed firmly, that I may not be moved by sight;
My words are incoherent, rightly depicting the state of my mind;
My mouth seems too slow, not fast enough to articulate the flow –
The gushing of thoughts and emotions from my mind backed up behind my throat,
My tongue feels tired, but there’s a will
That seeks to push until something happens…
Giving no rest to self or God;-
The mystery that keeps mighty men on their feet in battle,
And keeps the sword of the warrior stuck to his hands
Even when his arms are wearied beyond remedy;
And keeps him facing a thousand as they descend on him
Breathing destruction and slaughter….
A small portion of the mystery, that brought a Man
To the carrying of the burdens of the whole world.
Walking down memory lane, I come across many strange sights;
Strange, not because they’re unfamiliar, surprising or unnatural;
But because down memory lane things just look different.
Some things which seemed heavy, look like feathers now;
Some things that flitted through barely leaving a mark,
Now seem to have made and left trenches deep and wide;
Fleeting moments that were regarded ordinary, barely noteworthy,
Now seem to be set in gold, with silver linings and adorned with pearls.
The mysteries of divine irony:
That an ancient symbol of shame
In one day became the ultimate symbol of hope;
The price was a life so pure that shame fled.
The crying cross that weeps blood,
Lamenting at the silence of the Saints –
Silent in comfort, but powerfully verbal in persecution –
Blood-marked men wrung through the wheels of suffering
Their robes made white by a thorough washing in Blood.
Sing me a song that sounds like the cry of my soul.
I don’t have the voice or the skill,
But I’ll like to hear my soul’s song outside the confines of my being;
So please, If you can, sing me that song, that keeps stirring me up.
I don’t want to be the only one with these goosebumps,
Or the euphoria and the resonating sympathies of these chords.
I’m unqualified to write about fatherhood,
I have enough trouble just being a son;
Yet the thought is one that weighs heavily on the mind…
I realise I’m caught in a cycle where sons become fathers:
How would it feel to have a son today,
Who treats me like I treated my father yesterday,
And treats his son tomorrow like I treat him today – blessing or curse?
When the past, long thought dead, suddenly becomes the present…
Of course, it’s usually the unwanted past that creeps up – go figure…
So sly, playing possum, waiting for that atmosphere – the crack in the psyche.
For it knows, that with the pressures of life come cracks and fractures;
And oftentimes the more rigid the structures, the deeper the damage,
The louder the snaps, and the more forceful the bursts.
I’ve taken on an ambitious project;-
To paint a picture of ‘Motherhood’
With as few words as possible,
And from an already limited vocabulary.
Obviously I got stumped even before I began,
Because I was faced with a simple question:
‘When does it begin, and where does it end?’
Here’s a story for those who love such things:
I was once a man (seems like so long ago) who didn’t have much,
But I knew how to love, and loved all I had.
One day I got something I grew to adore and prize
Above all else I had, and I desired not much more.
But not long after, I began to lose the little that I had.
After each loss, I would say to myself and to Him on my knees,
‘I’ve lost something quite dear, but I’m still grateful.’