These are words I couldn’t share before,
Trapped in a growing earthen mould not yet equipped
To express the gravity of the thoughts that linger
And roam in the depths of this immortal soul.
I’ve seen things stranger than fiction
And heard things that cannot be put into words
I’ve taken steps falteringly, seemingly aimlessly
To a destination that couldn’t be surer.
Each night as we slept the tears flowed.
I can’t deny that it shows –
The pain we’ve been hiding.
How do we say goodbye?
I can ignore your feet on my table, darling;
But not the name you keep calling
Every night when you moan…groaning till waking, saying;
‘Ah, Adriel, my little baby…why won’t you come to Mummy?’
There’s a song – wordless;
It haunts me at odd hours,
And brings tears to my eyes;
It wrestles reason to the ground,
And dances all over my emotions;
I usually put out free verse poems, but sorry to disappoint you today, this is going to be something different.
For a long time, I’d been at a level of faith (belief), that for convenience, I’ll call the ‘intellectual level’. I believe everything in the Bible is true and inspired by the Spirit of God. I know all the miracles – and there are some really blatantly epic ones – and most of the stories by heart. But they just didn’t seem or feel like they would apply or happen to me…couldn’t really accept that they could happen to me (just for the record, I don’t particularly look forward to wrestling with a lion, or surviving living with a bunch of starving lions, or killing a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass, or commanding the entire universe to stand still…this one would actually be really cool, but it’s not about being cool).