Each night as we slept the tears flowed.
I can’t deny that it shows –
The pain we’ve been hiding.
How do we say goodbye?
I can ignore your feet on my table, darling;
But not the name you keep calling
Every night when you moan…groaning till waking, saying;
‘Ah, Adriel, my little baby…why won’t you come to Mummy?’
With every breath comes remembrance
Of your unsteady footsteps along the corridors;
The innocent clueless baby teeth smile
That gave me pause at every mile of my day.
I’m served my hurts on a plate each morning;
Drinking the soup of sorrow every evening
Laddled out generously by sweet old memories…
Sweet old memories turned into the sourest grapes.
We watched helplessly as you fought bravely,
A hopeless battle, we all knew…all but you.
And we stood with you…fought and cried by your bedside
Till your brows relaxed, and your struggles grew peaceful.
You left so serenely, leaving us in shambles,
For hours we stood and watched, refusing to accept
That the battle had ended, and we had lost…miserably;
But you looked…oh, so adorable, still my little prince.
I’m at a loss as to what to do
With the many framed memories of you and us,
Littered here and there, attic to basement;-
Makes me dread both the opening and closing of my eyes.
The only intelligible words I ever heard you say,
Were ‘Momma’ and ‘Papa’…indeed, ‘Papa’ first –
Made me so proud to hear you call with lifted arms;
And my arms still refuse to forget the weight of your body.